AMAZING GRACE

It has been months and months since I have sat down to write.  I am not talking about whipping up a quick coleslaw post or a box cake mix fixed up with fancy buttercream frosting…but what is really truly on my heart.

Sometimes it is quite easy to hide behind what one may think people want to read…but since this is supposed to be a family blog journal and I want to be able to look back and see and remember feeling God’s very presence in my life and in the details of how He has chosen to guide our family…I decided today was the perfect time to document away!

These past few months have been tough…quite dark at times, if I am honest.

My husband has been home and off work for about three months with SEVERE back pain and a herniated disk. 

As I tried to stay as cheery as possible for him, there were nights I would turn my wet cheeks from one side of the pillow to the other…only to soak the other side as well. Never had I seen my STRONG STRONG hubby so weak and in so.much.pain.  There was absolutely nothing I could do to help him.  

It’s pretty hard crying quietly…sleep as we knew it was no longer called sleep…but referred to as cat naps.  During this time, we had plenty of time to s l o w way down and to let reality sink in.  The reality of life is that we are NOT guaranteed health, we are NOT guaranteed anything, but we are guaranteed GRACE.  It has been our theme.  It has been a constant. No matter how exhausted and terrified we may be…God is there.  No matter how far away we have strayed, we still have His grace.

A hurt back is nothing compared to the loss of life due to war, cancer, bombings, natural disasters, murder etc.  But when you are confined to your home and there is nothing to keep you busy and your mind occupied with the tasks of the everyday rush…it is interesting how quickly the blind folds fall from your eyes and how one can be moved to tears as you empathize not only with your pain, but with the pain others are going through simply because you suddenly are in the same waters with those who, too are helplessly trying to swim to shore before giving up and drowning. 

Last year I took our daughter to the beach for the day.  It was unseasonably warm and beautiful.  We did all of our favorite things and since she is the queen of taking pictures, I could hardly wait to get home and show her daddy all of the fun we had as momma and daughter.  It was shocking and disappointing that the “beautiful” images we had taken of our rock were dark.  The surroundings were still a bit breath-taking but nothing like what we had pictured.

As I was scrolling through the pictures this last month, it dawned on me that it is the darkest of times that can be the most.beautiful…and no matter how you try to explain to others the beauty of trials…others can only see the “dark images” and not the beauty.  No, it isn’t glamorous…and most of the time it is downright nasty and ugly, and the last time I checked, fear is not something I look forward to…but the reason I am writing this is to remind myself and to encourage YOU that there is always redemption and ALWAYS GRACE.

My hubby and I were reminded of the life of John Newton.  Talking about a dark life, WOW! {by choice, but still!!!}  God turned it into a beautiful thing.

I have loved the song AMAZING GRACE since I was little…but for the first time ever, I read the words “’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved, how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed!”  The power of GRACE is unmistakeable!

“Through many dangers, toils and snares I have already come; tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”  The power of GRACE!

“The Lord has promised good to me; His word my hope secures; He will my shield and portion be as long as life endures.”  Because of His GRACE we have HOPE!

So, if life is bleak for you and if the only beauty you can see is far away outside your window in what seems to be a distant land…pour your heart out to God, turn your wet cheeks heavenward and ask God to dry your tears.  Thank Him for never leaving you…even in the cold, deep, dark waters as He guides you safely to shore.  AND although others may never see the beauty of the “’day”…you will have the sweet memories of you and your God together…learning that despite the dark images, the days were indeed filled with His glory,  His majesty…and a heart that learned the definition of GRACE.

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